Say ‘Thanks’ the Right Way
Writing notes of gratitude for gifts received is an easy and essential way to appreciate the generosity of friends, family
By Bev Bennett
CTW Features
You may live in a technological world, but when it comes to thanking guests for their wedding gifts, you’ll have to rely on a handwritten thank-you note.
“The thank-you needs to be handwritten to give the personal feel of sincerity and connection,” Nicole Fraser, senior writer/editor of American Greetings, Cleveland, Ohio, says.
Although writing these notes probably isn’t your favorite task, you can make the experience more pleasant.
To avoid a negative approach, think of the thank-you note a part of the circle of giving and receiving, Fraser says.
“If someone takes the time to send you a gift on your special day you want to take the time to thank them for it. That completes the circle,” Fraser says.
You and your spouse may enjoy shopping for cards together. Or perhaps you’re keeping a scrapbook that includes notes about the gifts sent to you. By browsing through the book together you can recall some of the memorable events in the wedding.
Spread your work out over several evenings. Although the note and the voice should be first-person singular –“I love the vase” – you can include your spouse: “John thinks it should be displayed in the dining room.” Then you both sign your names.
To keep your words fresh Fraser recommends you thank your guests in writing as if you’re speaking to them.
“That way you keep your thank you from the heart,” she says.
As a measure of your “Thank-You IQ” take this fun quiz, then roll up your sleeves and start writing.
1.How soon after a wedding do you have to send notes to your guests?
A) One month.
B) Up to two months.
C) Before you send out baby announcements.
2.When given cash as a gift, the proper acknowledgement is the following:
A) Gee, I hope the bank teller doesn’t laugh when I try to cash this.
B) Thanks so much for the check for $$ dollars.
C) Thank you for gift that we’ll use to buy X.
3. You’ve been a guest to a wedding and gave the couple a lovely gift. It’s been three months and you’ve yet to receive an acknowledgement. Do you:
A) Ask that the silver candelabra be returned to you.
B) Send the wedding couple a copy of “Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette” (HarperCollins Publishers, 2001).
C) Contact the couple expressing your concern that the gift may have gone astray.
Answers:
1. Either A or B is correct, according to Nicole Fraser. Couples are expected to send their thank-you notes within two to three weeks after returning from their honeymoons. However, couples that have extended honeymoons or long guest lists are given a little leeway. If your gift is sent before the wedding, you don’t have an excuse and should send your appreciation within two weeks.
2. C is correct. You can mention the sum or not, but your guests will appreciate knowing how you intend to use the money. Something like: “We’re going to use your generous check of $100 to buy a much-needed lamp for the living room. We’ll think of you whenever we turn on the light.”
3. C is correct. Don’t embarrass the couple. It’s possible your gift was lost.
