Invite Etiquette
On your wedding invitation, every word counts – choose them with love and care, advises etiquette expert Peggy Post
By Bev Bennett
CTW Features
The wedding invitation often creates the first impression guests receive of the nuptials to come. No wonder everyone wants to get it right.
Take a look at the chapter on invitations in the bible of wedding manners, “Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette, Fourth Edition” (HarperCollins, 2001). The section grows with every edition says Peggy Post, the book’s author and the third generation of Post authors.
Engaged couples grapple with so many variables – they may be older, they may have multiple sets of parents and siblings due to remarriages, they may be tempted by alluring new conveniences such as e-mail invitations – it’s no wonder they have questions when it comes to protocol, according to Post.
“Invitations are a point of concern for couples,” says Post. “The question that pops out and has the most emotional attachment is listing divorced parents.”
The issue often comes up when both the bride’s biological father and her stepfather, who happens to be paying the wedding bills, vie for top billing.
“The invitation shouldn’t be a matter of who is paying. If you have more than one set of parents, let the invitation read, ‘the family of Miss Emily Smith… ’ It’s a nice way to address it,” says Post.
Another concern is when to send invitations. Allow six to eight weeks for the actual printing, and then mail the invitations six to eight weeks before the date, according to Post.
For destination weddings send a save-the-date card several months in advance. But don’t forget to follow up with an invitation to everyone who marked the calendar.
And these days when Internet exchanges are so common, there are even times when an online invitation is socially acceptable as well, says Post.
“If a couple decides to get married at the last minute and wants to get the word out really quickly and knows that their family and friends use e-mail, then e-mail is fine,” she says.
