Posted on: May 8, 2008
Intrusive Invites
Multiple maps, extra itineraries and directions galore – nowadays it’s amazing if you can even fit the invitation in the envelope. How much is too much, and what should you pare down?
By Anna T. Hirsh
CTW Features
A wedding is a major event. It needs to be designed, built, coordinated and, ideally, executed perfectly. Organizing a wedding is kind of like choreographing a new ballet that will only ever see one curtain call. With this kind of pressure, it isn’t surprising that couples feel the need to compile a stack of instructions for their guests, a pile of paperwork that can make their invitation envelope end up looking like an investment portfolio. Maybe all this added information is important, but is it necessary?
“If you are doubling your postage with add-ins, it’s a sign that you have too much,” says Sharon Naylor, author of “The Essential Guide to Wedding Etiquette,” (Sourcebooks Casablanca, 2005).
An invitation should include dates, location, time and who is getting married – the information that explains the celebration to the invitee and helps them make a decision about attending – plus the RSVP card with a stamped, addressed envelope. It shouldn’t include a pile of maps or an explanation of 40 different hotels.
“Excessive inclusions take away from the beauty of the invitation’s design and print,” says Naylor. “People just see a fat envelope and think, Look at all these things I have to recycle.”
This distraction also detracts from the true intention of the paper within the envelope.
“The real purpose of an invitation is simply to invite you, says April L. Paffrath, author of “The Artful Bride Wedding Invitations: A Stylish Bride’s Guide to Simple, Handmade Wedding Correspondence,” (Quarry, 2004). “A lot of people lose this purpose in their efforts to be helpful. The invitation should simply be a beautiful thing in line with the style of the bride and groom, and not diminished by reams of folded, photo-copied add-ins.”
However, says Naylor, if your invitation is low on inserts, it is fine to include a small, matching, single panel card that provides your guests with information about a Web site where they can go to get more information. A wedding Web site can list itineraries, directions, maps, accommodation and transportation options, registry information and suggestions for fun, non-wedding activities for your out-of-town guests. You can create your own site, or utilize the ready-made templates offered by bridal Web sites or various bridal registries.
The trick to deciding how to impart this directional information to your guests is to adhere to the tone set by the formality of your wedding, says Paffrath. If your wedding is quite formal, it is best not to refer to your Web site with your invite, although it is perfectly acceptable to send follow-ups with more information in a different envelope. If your wedding is more informal, you can include the small card with a URL or simply make phone calls or send out e-mails. Phone calls and e-mails are especially helpful if you’d like your wedding to have less of an environmental impact.
Overly elaborate invites are both expensive and wasteful, says Naylor. People are usually going to throw everything away (inserts, glitter, pressed-flowers, fancy paper-box presentation and all) except for the invite panel.
Therefore, when it comes to the actual design of this one, truly important piece – the invitation – stick to something simple, elegant or sweet; don’t turn into someone you’re not just for your wedding day by going gaudy or busting your budget on expensive intricacies.
“Your invite should seem like you and your fiancé,” says Paffrath. “If you’re not a fluffy meringue kind of girl normally, don’t try to be a fluffy meringue now. Even if you’re a city girl getting married in the middle of the country, your invitation should still carry your style.”
Letting your natural style and personality, rather than excessive paperwork, run the show as you plan your w
